What to Do When You and Your Partner Don’t Go To Bed at the Same Time

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It’s running late, you are done with eating and all you are waiting for is to go to bed. However, your partner is nowhere to be seen, but you don’t just want to get onto that bed alone. This is a common situation most couples are faced with in the world all over, and if you don’t know who to deal with it correctly, it is likely that you may be affected negatively.

Whenever a partner walks in when you are already asleep, your sleep cycle is likely to be interrupted with their presence in the room, and the mere act of talking to them may completely wake you up from your sleep. However, if you are the kind of couple who find it difficult to go to bed due to one reason or another, there are certain things you can do to try and remediate the situation. You can always reach some compromises, and here are a few tips to help you out-:

Understand your biological schedule

Understand your biological schedule

Your biological schedule, also known as your chronotype, is what communicates to your brain when it is time for you to go to bed and when it is time for you to wake up. You and your partner may not be of the same chronotype and understanding how differently you are can help you catch sleep even when they are not around.

For example, if you realize that you are an early morning person in the sense that you prefer to go to bed early and wake up early, yet your partner insists on coming home late, the best course of action is to let them know about your preference, and request them to cause minimal disturbance when they get into the room. But if you find that you are a night owl, in the sense that you love sleeping late at night, then you may decide to wait for them to come back as you go about your normal activities. When they are back, you can then go to bed together.

Hang out together

Hang out together

What if your partner stays later at night, either hanging out with friends or due to work-related activities, or maybe when it is a weekend, then you can expect that they will be coming home really late? These should not be justifications enough to make you have a compromised sleep quality. If they are out late at night due to work-related activities, then there is very little you can do under such circumstances. But if they stay out late because they are having good times with their friends, then you may consider joining them, especially for the weekends so that you come back to the house and get to bed at the same time.

Minimize disturbance when you get back to the room

Minimize disturbance when you get back to the room

If you are the one who usually come late and find the other partner in bed, it will be prudent if you don’t do anything that might end up jolting them from their sleep. It is imperative that you observe silence and if possible, you should not even consider talking to them when you get back. Again, the same should be the case if you are the partner who usually falls asleep last once you get to the bedroom. Here are a few tips to help you minimize the amount of disturbance when your partner is already asleep-:

  • Request that the door is left open so that you don’t make any sounds if it is noisy or if working the key may wake up someone.
  • If you know you will be getting out of the bed at night, don’t cover yourself under the covers, but instead, stay on top so that when you disembark, you don’t cause any commotion or alert them that you are leaving.
  • Have an animal or a pillow between you – having an animal between the two of you is a wonderful way to ensure your partner is not distracted when you get out of the bed or when you come to sleep. An animal breath the same way as humans and their presence beside your partner will give them some sense of comfort, and even help them sleep better.
  • If you want to leave the bed, wait for a few minutes until your partner is fully asleep. This is so that you get up when they are fully unconscious and their sleep will not be disrupted because they will not hear you leave.
  • Dim the lights if you have to read or get a cover for the lights in the bedroom. And when you get back, be sure to not switch on the bright lights in the room, as this will definitely wake them up.

Create a sleeping schedule for the week

Create a sleeping schedule for the week

If your differences at bedtime are such that they can’t be reconciled, then it may be a good idea to try and create some sleeping schedule for the week. You can agree that on weekends, you spend together so that you can cuddle and enjoy some warmth and comfort from your new mattress from Tuft and Needle at Lowe’s, then during the week, you can choose to sleep on separate rooms if that is possible. The person to stay late or the one who comes home when the other is asleep may consider sleeping on the couch or using the guest room.

Use sleeping gear

If you are the one who likes going to bed early and your partner likes waking you up because they come to bed late,  it may be a good idea to invest in some sleeping gear to help you block most of the disturbances. Think about having accessories such as a sound machine, earplugs, and eyeshades. These will be sufficient to block a considerable number of distractions and let you have a great night of quality sleep.

Find a solution to the snoring

Snoring can be devastating to a partner trying to catch some sleep. If one partner has this habit, it is important for the right solution to be found so that there may be peace and silence to let everyone sleep well at night in that house.

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